The Kok: Breaker, breaker for the Tibandit!
Tib: Come on back, breaker.
The Kok: You got trouble comin'. Big trouble.
Tib: Well, what's your handle son, and what's your 20?
The Kok: My handle is Smokey Kok and I'm tail grabbin' your ass right now!
Tib: ... gay ...
Yeeeeee Haw Tenacitizens! Sherriff The Kok, here - Babby Naggy is currently serving a short stint in county lockup over copyright infringement for the above Smokey and the Bandit gag. Dr. Champ was kind enough to send over Baby Thuuli to fill in.
The Kok: Baby Thuuli, say howdy to our Team Tenacity viewer at home.
Baby Thuuli: Silence, mortal!
The Kok: Come on, Baby Thuuli. Say howdy, for me.
Baby Thuuli: Do not make me eat your tongue.
The Kok: H-O-W-D-Y. Say it.
Baby Thuuli: I shall tear open your left nipple, crawl into your chest cavity, and shit on your cold, black heart.
The Kok: Okay, then... We'll try that again later.
Baby Thuuli: Get on with the news, fatass.
The Kok: I killed your daddy, you little shit. *Ahem* And on with the news....
In case you didn't read the news the other day, and you can go walk off a cliff if you didn't, the Pain Train rolled into Discord Tower again Wednesday night to work out some of our aggression. Apparently, Tibber the Bandit was off his prozac again, so there was a bit more talk of skullfucking and murder than usual. Good for Team Tenacity, bad for the Denziens of the Phallic Tower of Gay Power.
The Syncarna, along with his mengarie of boytoys, gave Team Tenacity a bit of difficulty as we figured out just what the hell his translucent ass was. Man? Woman? Tranvestite? Cat Monkey? At the end of the day, and a few wipes, we determined he was just another dress-wearing freak boy like Solzanus and, like Solz, he had loot the rest of us wanted. So we killed him. During his final bubble-gum shielding phase, Syncarna whipped out his Hello Kitty Special Edition Droid and made a call. Thanks to my contacts in the NSA, we were able to catch the other side of that coversation:
I'm pretty sure I killed this prick in Arena mode last week.
Further proof that Steve Jobs and the cult of Mac are evil?
This is right about the time that Dr. Champ found whatever passed for Syn Daddy's colon and went spelunking for loot.
Yeah, that's Razbot's pet that just got shit on.
Just like a tumbleweed in a tornado, Lord Brekt got ripped to shreds by the forces of Team Tenacity - leading to a treasure chest full of... er... treasure, some new bragging rights, seriously increased EQ Peen sizes, and a collection of fun new names. Par examplar:
Warlord Eats Pasta of the Timelords (And they want it back, regardless of which end it comes from)
Lord Kokuten, Newsman of the Timelords
Lady Eveage, Cleavage of the Timelords (I <3 Booby references)
Elder Razbot, Shamwow of the Timelords (That's right, we use Raz's bot to clean up the splooge after our hot tub orgies)
So, Team Tenacity has some sweet new titles, another expansion under our belts, and a new resident on the farm to go back, visit every week, and slaughter.
Oh, right, and quotes - with commentary by Baby Thulli!
These mortals have the comedic sense of 13 year-olds.
I've got a snake for you, Vothsisx. Come a little closer and eat these roofies. I hate you.
Okay, I'm not sure what's going on here but it's making me horny. I will destroy all of you but this Dynae. Her I will impregnate with my Thuuli seed. Via her face.
Oookay, Baby Thuuli. Looks like you need a little counseling. I hope we don't have to ask you back in the future, but thanks for filling in.
Keep up the Awesome, Tenacity. That's all the news for now - Bamurien and Vothsisx contributed some screenies to today's edition. Keep those submissions coming to
FakeNews@gmail.com.
The Kok, Out.
