That's right - absolutely nothing. Team Tenacity takes out Mayong with 17 - because most of us had nothing better to do and the rest of us are mindless sheeple who will follow Voth anywhere.
The Kok: Breaker, breaker for the Tibandit! Tib: Come on back, breaker. The Kok: You got trouble comin'. Big trouble. Tib: Well, what's your handle son, and what's your 20? The Kok: My handle is Smokey Kok and I'm tail grabbin' your ass right now! Tib: ... gay ...
Yeeeeee Haw Tenacitizens! Sherriff The Kok, here - Babby Naggy is currently serving a short stint in county lockup over copyright infringement for the above Smokey and the Bandit gag. Dr. Champ was kind enough to send over Baby Thuuli to fill in.
The Kok: Baby Thuuli, say howdy to our Team Tenacity viewer at home. Baby Thuuli: Silence, mortal! The Kok: Come on, Baby Thuuli. Say howdy, for me. Baby Thuuli: Do not make me eat your tongue. The Kok: H-O-W-D-Y. Say it. Baby Thuuli: I shall tear open your left nipple, crawl into your chest cavity, and shit on your cold, black heart. The Kok: Okay, then... We'll try that again later. Baby Thuuli: Get on with the news, fatass. The Kok: I killed your daddy, you little shit. *Ahem* And on with the news....
In case you didn't read the news the other day, and you can go walk off a cliff if you didn't, the Pain Train rolled into Discord Tower again Wednesday night to work out some of our aggression. Apparently, Tibber the Bandit was off his prozac again, so there was a bit more talk of skullfucking and murder than usual. Good for Team Tenacity, bad for the Denziens of the Phallic Tower of Gay Power.
The Syncarna, along with his mengarie of boytoys, gave Team Tenacity a bit of difficulty as we figured out just what the hell his translucent ass was. Man? Woman? Tranvestite? Cat Monkey? At the end of the day, and a few wipes, we determined he was just another dress-wearing freak boy like Solzanus and, like Solz, he had loot the rest of us wanted. So we killed him. During his final bubble-gum shielding phase, Syncarna whipped out his Hello Kitty Special Edition Droid and made a call. Thanks to my contacts in the NSA, we were able to catch the other side of that coversation:
I'm pretty sure I killed this prick in Arena mode last week.
Further proof that Steve Jobs and the cult of Mac are evil?
This is right about the time that Dr. Champ found whatever passed for Syn Daddy's colon and went spelunking for loot.
Yeah, that's Razbot's pet that just got shit on.
Just like a tumbleweed in a tornado, Lord Brekt got ripped to shreds by the forces of Team Tenacity - leading to a treasure chest full of... er... treasure, some new bragging rights, seriously increased EQ Peen sizes, and a collection of fun new names. Par examplar:
Warlord Eats Pasta of the Timelords (And they want it back, regardless of which end it comes from)
Lord Kokuten, Newsman of the Timelords
Lady Eveage, Cleavage of the Timelords (I <3 Booby references)
Elder Razbot, Shamwow of the Timelords (That's right, we use Raz's bot to clean up the splooge after our hot tub orgies)
So, Team Tenacity has some sweet new titles, another expansion under our belts, and a new resident on the farm to go back, visit every week, and slaughter.
Oh, right, and quotes - with commentary by Baby Thulli!
These mortals have the comedic sense of 13 year-olds.
I've got a snake for you, Vothsisx. Come a little closer and eat these roofies. I hate you.
Okay, I'm not sure what's going on here but it's making me horny. I will destroy all of you but this Dynae. Her I will impregnate with my Thuuli seed. Via her face.
Oookay, Baby Thuuli. Looks like you need a little counseling. I hope we don't have to ask you back in the future, but thanks for filling in.
Keep up the Awesome, Tenacity. That's all the news for now - Bamurien and Vothsisx contributed some screenies to today's edition. Keep those submissions coming to FakeNews@gmail.com.
BREAKING NEWS: Tenacity Eats Pasta of the Time Lords
What will be the repercussions for our intrepid explorers? How will the Time Lords respond to this invasion of their dinner table? White sauce or red sauce? Inquiring minds will have to wait until tomorrow to find out....
The Kok here, fresh from retirement. Baby Naggy and I have been doing the political thing for the last two years and had us a whirlwind of a time. Baby Naggy even met the woman of his dreams - but it turns out she was just using him for his contacts in the world of professional media. That bulldog of a woman tossed Baby Naggy to the curb - poor fella loves her so much he still wears her pin. Join me Friday night at Old Irontoe's in Kaladim, we're gonna get Baby Naggy liquored up and bring in some of the finest Dwarven show girls to get his mind off his lost love.
But enough about me (Really, is it ever possible to hear enough about me?) - let's talk about the goings on about TenacityTown, particularly how we're spreading our particular brand of depravity around Norrath. Or the shattered remains of Norrath. Or the potentially shattered future remains of Norrath's past...
...seriously? SoD's storyline reads like it was cobbled together from a couple of Lost wannabes on fanfiction.net. Either way - we own that shizz!
Discord Tower - DI Rotations are back in style
True Story - Ruffles can shoot ass-lasers from his hands. See below:
Does the Curator look suprised or excited?
The Pixxt Curator of Anal Pleasure, or whatever his name is, tried to put up a good fight. As expected, the Pain Train rolled right over his tan, rippling, well-defined pectorals and washboard abs with all the ferocity of Motasa on an un-guarded sheep. I know you're not surprised, the guy has to have two chicks do most of his fighting for him and, as Dr. Champ is always reminding us, girls don't play EverQuest.
Some new goodies were passed around to the crowd, Zyris logged, and we decided to call it a night. A dozen or so slack-ass Tenacitizens headed off to bed (or redtube) and the rest of us decided to go wipe on the Scryer for shits and giggles. That's just how we roll.
SURPRISE! Tenacity forgets how to wipe
And this time, I'm not just talking about Shimo hurrying back from the throne to answer a tech support call:
Seriously, do NOT get between Gnome 7 and loot.
With approximately 42 battle rezzes, 629 emeralds used for DI, 1 gimp-ass MGB HoT from a recently un-retired newsman, a real MGB HoT from one of Tenacity's finest, and a dozen bowls blazed and smoked (Without Snuff or Tasa in sight) - TenacityTown came out on top, the Pain Train was packed full of loot, and we decided to give the denziens of Discord Tower some nap time.
But we're rollin' back into town tonight, and Baby Naggy's bringing crystal meth. On an unrelated note, free Crystal Meth for all of our knights (26 Knights on Meth is the equivalent DPS of Seamist when the Saints aren't playing). Don't ask me to back that with math, nobody wants more bunny graphs.
Quotes!
Team Teh Nasty decided to try and melt my screenshot key this week with all the quality quotes. I've plucked a few choice bits of low-hanging fruit for your enjoyment:
A Reading from the Book of Tib:
Reason #27 not to LD on a Tenacity Raid:
Speaking of Rippling Abs: Credit: McRuff
And two big wins for our buddy Tasa this week: Credit: Florencia Credit: Motasa
That Being Said....
That's the news for today, TenacityTown. Dr. Champ Muram is still the Editor-in-Chief of this clustermug and he's breathing down my neck to go scrub the latrines. Bear in mind, Tenacity is happy to have you back after a break - but the hazing is on a whole different level. Duke Fraternities have nadda on Tibber.
Tenacity Guild
